love stinks

i've been inundated by love this past weekend, and it's kinda getting to me. first off, during our whole waiting in line adventure, i got to sit there and watch girls comin in to hang out with their boyfriends and bring them things like food and blowjobs (ok, probly not those. . .). meanwhile i have no one to come bring me love. after that whole thing was said and done with, i'm back to society for the weekend. we go out to a kegger which was a pretty good time. sure enough, the place is full of good lookin girls, and i'd sure enough like to wager that 95% of them had their boyfriends there. i'm really starting to think it'll be impossible to find a girlfriend.

i think i just need exposure to the shittiness of relationships again so i can be reconvinced that i don't want one.

i feel like i'm in a negative state right now. the ps3 deal was kind of a bust, i'm lonely and horny, and i feel really lazy and dirty right now. not to mention, for some reason i feel certain shame for society. i read an article today about this group of about 100 kids that had convened in a street around a fight. an officer came up to the group and was trying to make his way in to break up the fight when he started getting assaulted. the kids then started chanting "more blood! more blood!" one kid reportedly said "this is how we roll in spring valley." where the hell has all the respect gone? and why are america's youth growing every so increasingly stupid?

i should go join a buddhist monastery. they seem to be free of the ugly bullshit modern society has to offer.

sup

what can i say, i've been on a writing spree lately. i finally got my paper done today after a rather long thinking spree. at 2:45 i started my paper. at 5 am i gave up after one page and decided i would take my mixing bowl of thoughts to bed and see if a nice doughy idea had risen by morning. morning was 9 am. after a good four hours of sleep i came back with a vengeance and finished my paper by 11:30 to take an hour nap.

now i feel like another nap, which i'm pretty sure i'll take.

i'm about to embark on an adventure tonight that is sure to be interesting. it's an odd mix of feelings. fear of the cold, excitement for the prospects of profit. curiosity of how the two days will pan out. basically we're camping out in front of best buy to buy ps3's and then sell them on the internet.

done laughing yet? some might find it pathetic and stupid, but i'm trying to look at it from all angles. it's gonna be kinda nice to be cut off from the normal routine for 2 days, be without class and chores and tv and whatnot. it'll give me a good chance to do some homework and maybe some casual reading too. i had contemplated even meditating for a full two days. but my meditation skills are weak and it would probly just equal sleeping.

oh well, according to my brother who just called, there are people already outside waiting. i wonder if they'll have all the good stuff we're gonna bring. peace out.

cruel intentions

it's 2 am and i have yet to start a paper that's due tomorrow(today). don't worry, i napped from like 10 to 11:30, so staying up shouldn't be a problem. straightening out my thoughts is gonna be tough though. actually just forming some thoughts is going to be kind of tough.

i'm working on my last philosophy paper of the semester, and it's based on this. which is more correct, the view that actions are morally relevant in a way that thoughts are not, or the view that we are equally morally responsible for thoughts and actions?

now, i'm not having trouble with the question. i feel that thoughts are as morally relevant as actions. and i have a few good ideas as to how i will portray that. the problem is, these philosophy paper aren't just graded on grammar. for all of these papers, we have to relevantly tie our readings to our arguments and make a good cohesive paper. each one has posed a different problem. some, i've had a difficult time understanding the materials properly to defend my point. on another, i just wasn't very affected by the issue to write a passionate paper. on this last one, i'm just not sure what to pull from the reading.

these papers have to be of a persuasive paper, and they have to have a solid argument. there's one big flaw from the class, though, that's hurt me, and i'm sure numerous other people. we do a lot of critiqueing on these papers. we even have big class discussions and look at papers together. the problem is we've looked at 100 wrong papers, but never really looked at a good paper. so basically i'm still not really sure how to write a good paper.

at this point in the class, i'm not really sure where i stand for a grade either. the papers are graded on a 10 point scale and i've gotten two 8's and a 7. all other writing is graded on a check minus, check, check plus scale. so i don't know how that all adds up. my guess, i'm sittin in B territory. i could just be surprised by an A though, or maybe even get blindsided by a C.

the class is interesting and all, i enjoy the topics we discuss and i feel like i'm getting valuable things from it. i'm just not sure that this whole grade thing is really gonna work out properly. with the ideas we throw around for these papers, it's going to be very hard for people to get good grades. it seems like there should be a lot of wiggle room with this stuff, cause who's to say how right or wrong our arguments are in such a broad subject as ethics?

who knows. i should quit wasting my time typing on here and start typing something worthwhile in word.

gym rat

so i understand people are fond of technology and whatnot, but i don't understand why people use it so much. case in point: cellphones and mp3 players.

i understand wearing mp3 players at the gym and whatnot for workin out. but why do people need to wear them 24/7? "hmm, i'm on my 5 minute walk to class, sounds like a great time to listen to my favorite song." no, put it away. i know music is great and all, and i enjoy it too, but you don't need it that much. not to mention, how much power are people probly wasting by listening to their mp3 players all the damn time?

here's something i really find hilarious though. people. . . at the gym. . . .talking on cellphones. why the fuck do you need to carry around your cellphone while you're lifting weights? what can't wait the 20 minutes you need to finish your workout? are you really that desperate for attention that you need to carry your phone around in hopes of someone getting a hold of you in between sets?

i don't know what people's deals are, but your life doesn't need a soundtrack and you don't need to bring your contacts to the gym.

meanwhile, it'd be pretty sweet if this whole plan to buy a ps3 and sell it on the net works. i could use some major coin.