whining yet again

i see it's been ages since i've written anything so i might as well spew out a little blurb. besides, my mind has been filled with more thoughts than usual.

i've been noticing myself having a lot more selfish thoughts this week, but i guess that's because i feel like i'm surrounded by selfishness. i don't mean acts of selfishness such as taking or stealing, but caring about others. it seems to me like a lot of people around me are too busy caught up in there own lives to worry about others.

i've seemed to notice this in my conversations, or should i say lack there of as of lately. i always seem to be the driving force behind my conversations; asking the questions and making the inquiries. it's like some of the people i'm talking to have nothing to talk about unless the topic is their self. very few seem concerned with how my day was or what's going on in my life. that's why i then have to, as i feel, get selfish and blurt out things about myself. everytime i do this i feel stupid for tooting my own horn, though.

i've even been wondering why this year it seems like if i wanna go out and party at all i have to call people. i've had a very small number of people that actually call me up on weekends, otherwise i'd probly sit around all by myself all weekend. and again i feel stupid when i have to invite myself anywhere with people.

i guess what i'm trying to get at is either a lot of people are too busy being caught up with themselves or i'm just not interesting. i really hope it's not the latter. my message is this, though. quit waiting around for people to show interest in you, and try showing some interest in other people. don't be afraid to ask some questions or even fake interest, you might just make that person's day. i know i'd be a little happier if people showed more interest in me. i guess this all could be magnified by the fact that there just really hasn't been a lot to do in the first place, but it's still something to remember.